like a moth to the flame you kill me forever and after.

penang

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 16:51:11 GMT

back from penang updated pictures in fb.
im not gonna say anything about anything because
i cant say i didnt enjoy myself neither can i say i did.
oh shit. i just realised this is my old blog im logged in
and posting in, oh fuck it.

im gonna go get ciggs.

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 12:02:06 GMT

my dad's on the way home to pick me up now so i'll just post(:
imma off to penang now and will be back next tuesday.

BYE ALL.

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 08:19:45 GMT

dear all, i have retired from this lj, too many eyes make me uncomfortable
feel kinda exposed. hahaha. so ask if you wanna add the new(:

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:24:35 GMT

im not gonna say a word. enough. goodnight.

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 06:11:03 GMT

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:31:30 GMT

i dunno how we got here, or if things will ever start looking up. i love you.

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 11:41:49 GMT

when you're finally over it. you wonder what made you behave this way in the first place

one day(:

HOT. HOT. HOTTTTTT

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 08:45:22 GMT

i cant stand the heat anymore. the sun is beating down my back.
i havent slept. i havent the energy to talk or smile a customers anymore.
i just wanna go home and sleep. sun pls go away, the rain should come out
and play.

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 19:48:39 GMT

there's no reason, but because there's no reason,
thats how i know its true. because i've no reason to **** ***.

you get me everytime.

jennifer love hewitt is so hottttt.
i need to find a girl whose name starts with "k"
cause fb says she loves me the most, and im meant to be with her.
TWICE! HAHAHA.
going for a smoke.

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 09:24:01 GMT

i dont feel welcomed here anymore...
so i post little words and many feelings.

I’ve got a little bag of marbles and a catapult
Wound around my fingers, and I feel very small
But I could make myself big, if I wanted to
There is nothing courageous about anything I do
All I need to do is sit and wait to be attacked
If I thought that it would make me happy then I would
Tie a handkerchief to a stick and surrender
But that isn’t what I want to do
I will never live up to my expectations

And I know kung fu
And I’m not afraid of you
Cos I might be small
But I’m not a coward
I’ve got puppy powers
That I’m not afraid to use.

listening for things i cannot see...

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 19:27:45 GMT

staring up into the solar system, all the stars are fixed up in the sky.
i just want to sparkle for a moment before I just fizzle out and die.

So just be gentle with me
Trouble is sometimes
And I'll be gentle with you
I just can't switch myself off
When I want to so I never do
Because I'm mental, be gentle with me.

i guess i've always needed to be needed by someone.
it's a comforting feeling being under someone's thumb.

goodnight. you've been missed.

i remember

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 16:15:34 GMT

it wasnt that long ago when i saw you for the first time and never expected this to happen.

life is full of surprises, we all know that, what we didnt expect was that the good and bad
surprises could actually come at the same time, in the same place, with the same people.

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 18:53:30 GMT

these knuckles break before they bleed.

i wish there was another way..

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 10:34:31 GMT

i just hit my head really hard at work.
and now when i stand it feels like everything is moving
i think i injured myself again ):

sun is bad.

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 08:39:02 GMT

wasted, paralyzed beneath ten thousand layers of disguise
built to save what's left has already worn away
inside this vacent made-up plastic life only your heart survived
for one last cry...

gravity gets to me.

think im falling sick sia.

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 18:34:09 GMT

it's in the way you sell every word and phrase
and leaving me to know how much the meaning weights.

i have a craving for the unattainable..

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 19:15:05 GMT

stop stomping through my thoughts like you own them.
claiming them yours. and making me want you like i know i cant have you.

tomorrow is yesterday's history

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 18:15:12 GMT

hi pals, how was your day? (: because mine sucked.
work tomorrow morning. decisions decisions. i'd love to not have to make
anymore decisions for the rest of my life if i could.

work was fucking hot today and my cousin's girlfriend bought
me an ice-cream cause she was nice and said i was very poorthing.
my life consists of work right now. and nothing else matters to me more
then making money. its funny what me and chee get up to and check
out when we're both bored as hell. and chee, i found out what we both
read that i was going to today already. good news? bad news?
its just news. assumptions fuck things up easily for us. and we really
should refrain but we both/all know we cant help but do it.
penang come soon pls. i cant wait. really really cant. feeling mixed though.
i really wanna get it all outta my system in penang and come back new.
18th is a new moon. i hope so for my sake. continuing this way is just
plain torture. and if meeting them means this then i'd rather not.
we cant have our cake and eat it too. hah. i swear by the 13th my arm
will be stained permernently with blue highlighter ink. shit.
knn someone just made me happy for 5secs. haha. ohwells.
i swear its completely word vomit coming outta me tonight.
but i dunno why im so fucking tired but i just cant seem to get to sleep.
i wished someone would just hit me on the head. because i cant sleep
and i dont wanna be awake. being awake is too hard.
i wished i'd sleep forever. then i'd never have to wake up and deal with
everything. haaha. wishful thinking much? lol

lydia dear, im sorry you always have to be the one to keep in contact
and how i never seem to ring you and its always you working to keep
in touch. but you should know by now how im horrible and incapable
of making the first move. i just sit and wait for my phone to ring showing
someone i miss dearly but never pick up to call. its just me. i just wait.
stupid but its how i am. maybe subconsciously i just wanna know
that the person im missing misses me too.

i think i should just. actually i dunno also.
btw im brusied all over...i dunno how come also.
maybe from work i guess. im tired.

walked back. figured enough was enough.

goodbye.

stay away from me. im serious.

what a beautiful mess this is....

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 18:49:47 GMT

i've finally realised my mind has the capacity to revoke what other parts of me cannot.

oh you crawled out of the sea
straight into my arms...

just dont. go away please.

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 17:56:54 GMT

my mind keeps wondering...swirling...and i worry if i dont pen down everything
i might forget everything.

i think im in love..haha.

the state of elation that this unison of hearts achieved...

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 17:46:52 GMT

work in the day. skins at night.
skins is fucked up. messed up characters with messed up love lifes.
screwed up families. trashed lives. maybe thats why i love the show
so much. relation.

as long as the stars fall down from the heavens.
as long as the rivers run to the sea.

going for a smoke.

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 15:35:12 GMT

back from work(:
its seriously draining to be in the sun the whole day.
but life got better and i got hyper as our shift was ending plainly because
i met the gang, after two days being home and not going out.
felt good even though it was just a short dinner. my eyes are tired
and yet here i am online, doubt i'll get sleep tonight.

your comebacks they're quick and probably
have to do with your insecurities.
there's no shame in being crazy depending..

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 18:07:33 GMT

its nice having my room to myself again..
even if its just for a night.
being able so smoke out my room window.
i missed it.

what a beautiful mess this is...
its like picking up trash in dresses...

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 15:39:47 GMT

these days i seem unable to express myself clearly.
its like- when you've so many things in your head,
the words rush to get out and comes out all wrong.
im glad for work and the distraction. and i cant wait for
penang. i dont care even if i was going alone. but,
just going somewhere away from sg feels like i can
leave my problems behind for awhile.

please go away. i miss you.

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 09:11:40 GMT

stuck at work with the sun burning a hole in my back.
i wanna go home and bathe mannnnnn ):

i miss my hommies )):