like a moth to the flame you kill me forever and after.

back from penang updated pictures in fb.
im not gonna say anything about anything because
i cant say i didnt enjoy myself neither can i say i did.
oh shit. i just realised this is my old blog im logged in
and posting in, oh fuck it.

im gonna go get ciggs.

my dad's on the way home to pick me up now so i'll just post(:
imma off to penang now and will be back next tuesday.

BYE ALL.

dear all, i have retired from this lj, too many eyes make me uncomfortable
feel kinda exposed. hahaha. so ask if you wanna add the new(:

im not gonna say a word. enough. goodnight.

i dunno how we got here, or if things will ever start looking up. i love you.

when you're finally over it. you wonder what made you behave this way in the first place



one day(:

i cant stand the heat anymore. the sun is beating down my back.
i havent slept. i havent the energy to talk or smile a customers anymore.
i just wanna go home and sleep. sun pls go away, the rain should come out
and play.

there's no reason, but because there's no reason,
thats how i know its true. because i've no reason to **** ***.

you get me everytime.


jennifer love hewitt is so hottttt.
i need to find a girl whose name starts with "k"
cause fb says she loves me the most, and im meant to be with her.
TWICE! HAHAHA.
going for a smoke.

i dont feel welcomed here anymore...
so i post little words and many feelings.

I’ve got a little bag of marbles and a catapult
Wound around my fingers, and I feel very small
But I could make myself big, if I wanted to
There is nothing courageous about anything I do
All I need to do is sit and wait to be attacked
If I thought that it would make me happy then I would
Tie a handkerchief to a stick and surrender
But that isn’t what I want to do
I will never live up to my expectations

And I know kung fu
And I’m not afraid of you
Cos I might be small
But I’m not a coward
I’ve got puppy powers
That I’m not afraid to use.

 

staring up into the solar system, all the stars are fixed up in the sky.
i just want to sparkle for a moment before I just fizzle out and die.

So just be gentle with me
Trouble is sometimes
And I'll be gentle with you
I just can't switch myself off
When I want to so I never do
Because I'm mental, be gentle with me.

i guess i've always needed to be needed by someone.
it's a comforting feeling being under someone's thumb.


goodnight. you've been missed.

it wasnt that long ago when i saw you for the first time and never expected this to happen.

life is full of surprises, we all know that, what we didnt expect was that the good and bad
surprises could actually come at the same time, in the same place, with the same people.

these knuckles break before they bleed.

i wish there was another way..

i just hit my head really hard at work.
and now when i stand it feels like everything is moving
i think i injured myself again ):

wasted, paralyzed beneath ten thousand layers of disguise
built to save what's left has already worn away
inside this vacent made-up plastic life only your heart survived
for one last cry...


gravity gets to me.



think im falling sick sia.

it's in the way you sell every word and phrase
and leaving me to know how much the meaning weights.

posting an entry at work while i shouldnt even be surfing the net.
being a useless fucker here and smothering in the heat.
god i wanna buy this teeeeeeeeeeee so fucking badly ):
should i? should i? should i? i know im gonna anyways. HAHA.

im done being a push over. im done being upset over you.

stop stomping through my thoughts like you own them.
claiming them yours. and making me want you like i know i cant have you.

hi pals, how was your day? (: because mine sucked.
work tomorrow morning. decisions decisions. i'd love to not have to make
anymore decisions for the rest of my life if i could.

work was fucking hot today and my cousin's girlfriend bought
me an ice-cream cause she was nice and said i was very poorthing.
my life consists of work right now. and nothing else matters to me more
then making money. its funny what me and chee get up to and check
out when we're both bored as hell. and chee, i found out what we both
read that i was going to today already. good news? bad news?
its just news. assumptions fuck things up easily for us. and we really
should refrain but we both/all know we cant help but do it.
penang come soon pls. i cant wait. really really cant. feeling mixed though.
i really wanna get it all outta my system in penang and come back new.
18th is a new moon. i hope so for my sake. continuing this way is just
plain torture. and if meeting them means this then i'd rather not.
we cant have our cake and eat it too. hah. i swear by the 13th my arm
will be stained permernently with blue highlighter ink. shit.
knn someone just made me happy for 5secs. haha. ohwells.
i swear its completely word vomit coming outta me tonight.
but i dunno why im so fucking tired but i just cant seem to get to sleep.
i wished someone would just hit me on the head. because i cant sleep
and i dont wanna be awake. being awake is too hard.
i wished i'd sleep forever. then i'd never have to wake up and deal with
everything. haaha. wishful thinking much? lol

lydia dear, im sorry you always have to be the one to keep in contact
and how i never seem to ring you and its always you working to keep
in touch. but you should know by now how im horrible and incapable
of making the first move. i just sit and wait for my phone to ring showing
someone i miss dearly but never pick up to call. its just me. i just wait.
stupid but its how i am. maybe subconsciously i just wanna know 
that the person im missing misses me too.

i think i should just. actually i dunno also.
btw im brusied all over...i dunno how come also.
maybe from work i guess. im tired.

walked back. figured enough was enough.

goodbye.

stay away from me. im serious. 

i've finally realised my mind has the capacity to revoke what other parts of me cannot.

oh you crawled out of the sea
straight into my arms...

just dont. go away please.